Ed (NOT!) in the Bed

"Ed (NOT!) in the Bed"... or ... "The Continuing Adventure of (trying to) Sleep for New Parents"

This is an update to the Ed in the Bed post from 4 months ago.

(Caution: this is a genuine sleeping picture. It was early in the morning. I do not look my best, but the picture is so sweet that I must share it without shame.)

It is a bittersweet accomplishment to have my baby now sleeping in his crib...in his own room...while Alex and I sleep in our bed in our OWN room!!! I feel a great amount of freedom...but I must say that I will cherish those sweet times of sleeping with my baby. (I still pull him into bed sometimes in the early morning or for naps. I don't want to give it all up yet!)

Thank you for everyone's support and ideas from the previously mentioned post. I will share our story for those who care...because I did a lot of online reading on the subject when I was trying to find a plan that would work for our family.

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We more or less followed the previous plan, with a little adjustment. We found that our crib was structurally sound with only three sides, so we pushed the crib up next to the bed in a co-sleeping style for most of the last 4 months. This meant that I could sleep right next to Edgar and nurse throughout the night with him in his own space (and get our bed back!).

This was a GREAT blessing to our sleep and family happiness. However, after many months of that, we were all ready to have our own room. I suspected that our snoring would wake Edgar and that my physical closeness deprived him of the chance to just roll over and go back to sleep.

So, we started by putting the fourth side back up on the crib, but we continued sleeping in our bed next to his crib for a few weeks. We started a routine that worked really well:

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"Okay Edgar. This is how tonight is going to go..."

(Pointing at Alex's side of the bed) "Daddy will go ni-night here"

(Pointing to my side of the bed) "Mommy will go ni-night here"

"And...." (Edgar would get excited and look at his crib) "Edgar will go ni-night in his crib! With is dog! (Edgar hugs his stuffed dog) And his blanket! (rub blanket on his face).

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This worked beautifully. He would go to sleep often without even crying. (A big deal for this attached kiddo). Of course...lots of nights he would cry for a while in his crib and daddy would end up on the air mattress in the other room...but after a few weeks the night time nursings were usually a good 2 hours apart (in the beginning it was 45 minutes to an hour apart...I started by nursing him if he had slept for at least an hour. After a few days he had to wait 2 hours).

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Anyway, Saturday I was quite sick and miserable. I was sure that my coughing and blowing my nose would wake Edgar, so I slept in the other room and responded to his nursing requests throughout the night. It worked so well that we moved the bed out the next day!

We continue the cute "where does everybody sleep?" routine (starting in mommy and daddy's room, and then moving to Edgar's room and kissing daddy good night). It works really well to let him know what is going on.

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It's been 4 nights and it is very promising. He often goes 3-4 hours without needing to nurse back down (a few whimpers here and there...sometimes 10 or 15 minutes of crying or tossing and turning) but then he rolls over and goes back to sleep. Also, his bedtime naturally adjusted to an earlier time--so Alex and I can actually spend some time together in the evening. (This does mean he doesn't sleep in until 10...so I actually have to get up early--but it's worth it!)

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So...that was pretty long. But, this whole sleeping thing has been a big deal for us. Edgar sleeps more than half of his day--so I feel a lot of responsibility to make sure that I am responding to his night-time needs in a way that shows him love and compassion... but in a way that also works for our family as a whole (Alex, me, and Edgar). I think that is the key--listening to what the baby needs, what the rest of the family needs, what your own body needs, and using trial and error to find a solution that fits those needs as best as you can. And then adjusting regularly to meet with the constant changes! And, as always, I find that parenting is universal--but very personal. Between husband, wife, and God you can find a solution to your parenting problem that fits your family.

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(I apologize if the formatting is weird. I couldn't get blogger to give me any decent paragraph breaks, so I tried to fake it out).